Sunday, January 25, 2009
Taka closes early today, so im going home early. Going for the reunion dinner, but wth whats the point.. Everything's not what they seem, everyone's just play-acting... And im tired of all the acting....
Went to Kinokuniya during my lunch break to get some books to read, yea i suddenly have an urge to read some books. SO i went in and bought 3 books: Twilight, Gears of War and Hellgate book 1. Wieee didnt want to leave the store, cuz its like all these years i've been missing out on so much. There's too many good books, and all these years i havent touched a single book because that bas**** killed my passion for reading. Hope this rekindles me reading xD
Yep, im buying some books to read during the 1st and 2nd day of CNY... I have no place to go, and nothing to do, so i'll just find a quite place outside to rot, or read these books...
Finally, some time for me to sit down and ponder over somethings... My life's chaotic enough, and i need this time to... rest. reflect. damn.
To love is one thing, to be loved is another entirely.. Why is it so hard for me to find someone who actually likes me...? Im tired of falling for girls whom i have no chance with, whom i can never be good enough for. Im sick of all this... I want out
I like her, but she doesnt like me... I may want the best for her, but still its painful... I wake up everyday thinking about her, and the more i think the heavier my heart becomes... I really want to talk to her, to see her smile, to look her in her eyes... To hear her sing for me... But in my heart i know these can never happen... Im not the kind of charismatic guy whom girls will like...
Why must things be this way..? Is it already the end? Im suffering... real badly... And im shouldering all this pain all by myself... Now, even with no hope left... I really wished i had not told her the truth.... To see what things are now and i could only blame myself for it... Blame myself for being so stupid.. T know that there's no hope and still go for it, and now im regretting...
If only i had not told her, at least i would still be talking to her... At least i can still hear her voice, see her smile, even though me myself's hurting... But at least we're still friends then...
Its too late for regrets now... What's done cannot be undone... And not only have i lost hope, i've lost a friend, possibly even a good friend.....
