Saturday, May 23, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I hate myself...
I despise myself...
I made her cry today... She was crying...and she chased me away from her house......
I made her cry...
Ha... Never cried so hard in a long time... or actually this is the hardest i've ever cried i think......
Cried while walking, cried in the cab, cried at home........
I hate myself.... Im sorry, ting.... Im really really really sorry....
She messaged me... its ok, xi guan jiu hao, and things like as long as im happy can le, and her tears are not like pearls....like they drop realily or something......
Seeing this....breaks my heart..... Really, the way she's feeling....its all because of me.... If i hadnt invaded her life, se wouldnt feel so much pain and be so messed up...
Ha... i guess, if zhiqiang's a jerk, a bastard, not a man, useless, not worth living in this world....then dont that make me....worse off than him, below him?
The way ting...loved me....and...its not even the fucking 1st month, and we had our first fight, and a big one in fact...and i already made her cry.......
piang the wall 5 times, with my right fist, but why...why didnt hit till my fists bleed, till my fists break? maybe i dont dare to hit so much....ha....what a coward...
